图片来源:DESIGNECOLOGIST,发布于 Unsplash
你有没有曾经”只是因为想”而为别人做了一件好事?不是为了回报,也不是出于义务——纯粹只是因为你愿意。如果有过,那你已经做过一次随机善意之举了!继续阅读,了解如何在生活中多多践行随机善意之举,提振自己的心情,同时改善他人的生活。
善良是西方社会最受推崇的品格力量之一(Binfet,2015)。我们喜欢善良的人,因此善良也能帮助我们赢得他人的喜爱。
除此之外,研究表明,善良不仅能提升他人的幸福感,也能增进我们自身的幸福感。例如,把更多钱花在别人身上通常会让我们更快乐,而志愿帮助他人则通常让我们更健康(Curry 等,2018)。
进化心理学家认为,善良之所以让我们快乐,是因为它有助于我们生存与繁荣——善良帮助我们与他人建立健康的关系,而这些人或许能够保护和支持我们。当我们帮助家人、朋友、社区成员和伴侣时,这一点可能尤为突出(Curry 等,2018)。
随机善意之举,是指一个人出于帮助或积极影响他人的愿望而做出的行为(Passmore & Oades,2015)。有时,随机善意之举被定义为仅对陌生人所做的善举(Baskerville 等,2000),但这似乎并非其中的魔法成分(Curry 等,2018)。
哪些人更倾向于践行随机善意之举?
研究者认为,某些人比其他人更可能践行随机善意之举。以下是一些可能驱使我们善待他人的因素:
- 亲眼目睹父母做出随机善意之举,很可能会使我们也更倾向于这样做。有样学样嘛,对吧?
- 如果有人告诉我们,我们是个善良的人,我们也可能更容易付诸善举。
- 善意是会传染的——当我们看到别人展现善意时,我们自己也更可能表现出善意(Baskerville 等,2000)。
随机善意之举的例子
我们很多人都想尝试随机善意之举,却不太确定从何做起。随机善意之举究竟是什么样的?为了让你有个直观的概念,以下是一些例子:
- 给予赞美
- 赠送礼物
- 说温暖的话
- 表达感谢
- 为他人提供服务
- 以礼相待
- 留意并肯定他人做的好事
- 把自己的时间给予他人
孩子也能践行随机善意之举吗?
近年来,越来越多的人开始倡导教导儿童参与诸如随机善意之举这类亲社会行为(Binfet,2015)。考虑到我们在年幼时学习一切都更为容易,鼓励孩子践行随机善意之举是很有道理的。但对于孩子而言,善良意味着什么呢?
孩子与成人并没有太大的不同。研究者指出,孩子眼中的善良是”一种情感或实际行动上的支持,有助于建立或维系与他人的关系”(Binfet & Gaertner,2015,第36-37页)。基于这一定义,适合孩子的随机善意之举有哪些呢?以下是一些建议:
- 与其他小朋友分享蜡笔或其他文具
- 送给别人一份小礼物,比如贴纸、花朵或彩色橡皮
- 向帮助过自己功课的同学道谢
- 告诉朋友你喜欢他们哪些地方
- 主动帮爸爸妈妈准备晚餐
- 在午餐盒里多带一些零食,分给没有零食的小朋友
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