开启我们都需要进行的生死对话的四个步骤

It’s only human to avoid discussing death. But when we do, we run the risk of not knowing how our loved ones want to live — and die. Advocate and journalist Ellen Goodman tells us how to kick off this critical conversation.

开启我们都需要进行的生死对话的四个步骤

回避死亡话题是人之常情。但若如此,我们便冒着不了解至亲之人希望如何生活——以及如何离世的风险。倡导者兼记者艾伦·古德曼告诉我们如何开启这场至关重要的对话。

死亡与税收是人生中两件不可避免的事。然而,尽管我们很可能已经与亲人和挚友谈论过金钱,却鲜有人提起死亡——即便是与最亲近的人。普利策奖得主记者艾伦·古德曼(TEDxBoston演讲:对话项目)表示,这种状况必须改变;正如她所说,我们需要将死亡这个话题公开讨论。

她的这一信念源于自身错失的机会。她与母亲的关系亲密无间,无话不谈——至少她曾这样以为。然而,当她的母亲病重、无法自主做出决定时,古德曼回忆道:”我接到了长期护理机构医生打来的电话。他说:’您母亲又患了一次肺炎,您希望她接受抗生素治疗吗?’我当时彻底愣住了。”就在那一刻,她意识到自己对母亲的心愿知之甚少。

2010年,古德曼创立了”对话项目”——一家位于马萨诸塞州剑桥市的非营利组织,致力于帮助人们谈论临终规划。在此,她分享了如何与挚爱之人开启这场关键对话的方法。

第一步:找出你对这场对话感到顾虑的原因。

犹豫是自然的。不谈论死亡的理由有很多,尤其是当涉及父母的死亡时。也许你担心父亲或母亲在情感上还没有准备好进行这样的对话。但根据”对话项目”的一项调查,92%的受访美国人表示,他们渴望谈论自己的临终护理安排。

也许你认为现在谈论死亡还为时过早——你的父母身体很好。但正如我们都知道的,死亡是不可预测的。古德曼说:”最好在危机发生之前进行这些对话,因为危机来临时是最糟糕的学习时机。”

又或者,你担心父母会在谈话之后、真正需要做决定之前改变想法,关于他们想要什么。

原创文章,作者:codex2,如若转载,请注明出处:https://www.ormemo.com/1306.html

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